Lee Knew

Lee knew that he wasn't in a good relationship. He knew that Gaara wasn't treating him like he should be treated. Lee knew that he was a good person and that he deserved to be treated like he treated everyone else around him. Including Gaara. He always gave Gaara nothing but the best. When he would speak to the Kazekage, he would say nothing but compliments, and when he would embrace his lover, he would make sure that his arms were tight around the thinner man's waist but not to the point of pain. Only tight enough to show that he really cared. It was the same with his kisses. He tried his best to kiss with passion, but he wasn't very experienced, so he always assumed that he was lacking something. Still, he put all of his energy and love into each and every kiss that he gave to Gaara, hoping that it would be enough to earn him the same in return.

Lee knows that Gaara can never love him all the way. He knew that when they both decided to start a relationship together. They had both been young, barely becoming men, but Lee had proclaimed his love for the redhead very loudly and on many occasions. At first, Gaara reacted with shock, disbelief and lastly, disgust. He had outright refused Lee and had physically turned his back on him, saying that he didn't want to hear anymore of his nonsense. But Lee only continued to say that he loved Gaara. Everyday. And everyday, he would be rejected and hurt in a very painful, emotional way. But that didn't stop him from trying harder. Lee was sure that because he hadn't been constant and persistent with Sakura, that he had lost any chance he had with her. He wasn't about to make the same mistake twice. He would repeat the three words to the Kazekage everyday and every hour if he had to, as long as he had breath in his lungs. He would make Gaara see how much he really cared.

Eventually, the Kazekage had seen just how much Lee had cared for him. The one time that Lee had intercepted a kunai aimed for the redhead's neck had really shown just how much the ebony haired man loved him. Lee had seen the streak of silver flying through the sky, aimed directly at Gaara, and had moved his body with as much speed as he possessed. He had been in Suna, working as the envoy, and it just so happened that the Rain Festival was taking place. Gaara was delivering a speech to his people when the attack came down, and Lee had quite literally pushed the Kazekage away from the danger, rather that he take a kunai to his own chest then see Gaara killed. He had been lucky that there were medical ninja's on hand, else he would have surely died from his injury. But Gaara, who had been crumpled on the ground after he saw Lee get struck and collapse, had been awoken. He was then able to see just how much he was loved. He was loved enough that someone would willingly put their life in danger for his own. Lee was happy that his actions had eventually led to he and Gaara beginning their relationship.

Lee would hear the door to the Kazekage's home slam open and would brace himself, mentally and physically for what was about to occur. He could feel and practically taste the chakra that would surround him as Gaara entered their bedroom and shoved him back onto the bed. Their mouths would clash roughly, nearly to the point of drawing blood, and then they would always end up coupling. It was frantic and harsh, as if the Kazekage needed to be reassured that Lee still cared for him the same way that he had before. And after their heated passion had died down and the ecstacy was fading slowly from their bodies, Lee would always wrap his arms around Gaara's waist and pull him in close for a long, warm hug. Their breath would mingle together as their faces lied so close to each other and the taller man would always whisper the same three words to Gaara. The three words that he had been repeating to the redhead over and over before they had finally become a couple. Gaara wouldn't ever say those words back, but Lee had excepted that he never would and had decided to live with that. He could live with the only signs that he was cared for being that of a hot, hard body pressed against his own.

Lee knew that Gaara wouldn't ever be kind to him like he knew he could be. The redhead hardly showed any compassion for his lover when he struck him or called him names. He would kick, punch, pull hair, spit in Lee's face and scream at the top of his lungs over things that Lee couldn't help. Small, simple things that Lee hardly noticed were what ended up setting Gaara off. The way Lee would look at him, how he would occasionally roll his eyes or click his tongue at something or even the way he sighed. Gaara would claim that it meant something that was absolutely not true and that Lee had lied about loving him. Lee would say nothing when Gaara threw, what he called, a temper tantrum, instead opting to just sit down and take whatever he was about to be dealt. And after the anger had settled and Gaara was somewhat calm again, Lee would gather himself up from the ground and simply fall into the Kazekage's arms, a sign that he still trusted him to protect him and that he forgave him. He would say his three worded catch phrase and then close his eyes, waiting for everything to return to normal. After a few minutes in that position, it usually did. Gaara would wrap his arms around Lee and just give one long sigh, releasing everything and slumping back into a chair, bed, wherever it was that they were located. And then they would both crawl into bed together, forgetting the events by morning. Yes. Everything always went back to normal.

Lee knew that Gaara wouldn't miss him when he left on missions. The redhead didn't need him there. He had made that perfectly clear to Lee on many occasions. If the Leaf were to die, Gaara wouldn't weep for him, or mourn his life. He would continue his life just like he always had before Lee came along. Nothing would change. Everything would be the same. With those thoughts in mind, Lee would depart after a night together with the Kazekage. Even if his lover could care less if he lived or died, Lee always made sure that they had as intimate a night as they were able just before he set off to either assist or lead a mission. He would race towards Suna's gates and met Shikamaru, Kiba and Naruto so that they could all head towards their destination. An S-rank bounty hunt to capture, dead or alive, a traitor from Konoha. Lee knew the risks of entering the Mist Village and demanding that they hand over the man they were sheltering; Knew that the Mizukage might become enraged and could even start a war with both Konoha and Suna if provoked. But Lee also knew that they had to complete their mission one way or another.

Lee saw, as they walked back towards Konoha with their target in chains behind them, that they were in danger. He saw the rows of Shinobi coming their way, following after their comrade whom Lee's team had captured and taken into custody. Lee assumed that while he was in Mist, their target had made alliances and agreed that if he were to ever be captured and taken to Konoha, that his friends or associates would fight tooth and nail to bring him back. It must have cost the man all of his life savings for that to happen, Lee thought.

Lee counted while he and his team quickened their pace. There were at least twenty other men approaching them, some of which appeared to be no more than regular men armed with weapons. Those men were easily taken care of, but the six remaining enemy were real Shinobi, trained by the Mist Village and taught to be merciless and violent. Lee and Kiba stood their ground, telling Shikamaru and Naruto to go ahead of them to deliver their target safely to Konoha. Of course, Naruto refused and stayed behind with his friends, and Shikamaru had left their target tied to a tree just a few yards away while he joined the battle. Their enemies seemed rather strong, so he assumed that they would need all the help and support in battle that they could get.

Lee tried to run when the enemy he was fighting against pulled out explosive notes. He tried to turn and warn his friends, but couldn't turn his back on an enemy so simply. He dodged the kunai that were tossed at him and landed a few good hits on his foe, though the older man seemed to have much more experience than he did, predicting and even intercepting his attacks. From somewhere off to his right, Lee heard Shikamaru screaming that someone had stolen back their target and was heading back to Mist. Lee, deciding to help out by trying to get the man back, turned his head a bit to look wherever the enemy was heading, and that was his mistake.

Lee knew, as soon as his opponent had laughed and retreated, that it was over. He knew that he was going to die right then and there and that he could do nothing at all to stop it. He had felt the stabbing pain of a kunai embedding itself into his stomach and had wrenched away from it immediately, curling into himself and stumbling back a few feet. Looking down at his abdomen and spreading his bloody fingers, Lee saw the weapon that had cut into him. It was just a kunai; Lee had taken hits with kunai before. But this one was different. It was thrown at him with such force, it was into his skin as far as the handle would allow it and he saw, as he gaped down at the red and dripping kunai, that it had an explosive tag wrapped around the handle. Lee could hear his friends calling his name and their footsteps as they raced forward to help him, though they stopped short when they saw the note. Shikamaru's eyes had gone wide and Kiba's jaw fell open; Even Akamaru started to whine. Naruto stood shocked for a moment, and then he screamed for Lee to throw the weapon, though his words were drowned out when the bomb went off.

The explosion had made the ground shake violently, though Lee never felt it. He had been sent flying backwards as soon as the note had set off the bomb. Lee was aware of an awful crack somewhere below his hips and then there was pain. Terrible, horrid pain that shot straight up from his hips to his head and back again. He felt how his left arm got pushed backwards roughly, and he also got to feel when the bone snapped in half and jutted out of his shoulder. The explosion had burned Lee's smoothed, tanned face and had ripped his green uniform along with his Konoha headband. When the fire and smoke had cleared, Lee was on his back, flat on the ground. He was bleeding, dizzy and aching all over. His black eyes were wide open, but for a while he couldn't see. His ears were ringing, so Lee would never hear Naruto and his friends screaming his name.

Lee couldn't breathe. The weight of something dreadfully heavy was on his chest and his lungs just would not allow any air to remain in them. His throat seized up on him and he could no longer try and suck in oxygen. He was in so much pain and agony, but all at once, the pain was gone. It had faded and was lost somewhere in him, but Lee couldn't bring himself to search for it. Lee heard nothing, the ringing in his ears completely silent. Lee smelt nothing, the stench of smoke and burning flesh suddenly evaporating into the atmosphere. He could no longer taste the blood on his tongue like he had been doing just a few moments ago and he couldn't feel any part of his broken, injured body. Lee's eyes were the only things that were working properly, and he used them to look around himself. He saw the things that should have effected his body, though they did nothing.

Lee would try as hard as he could, but he could not get any part of his body to move. He was numb, cold and frightened. It took a lot to frighten Rock Lee since the man was brave and gallant and whole heartedly believed that the only thing to Fear is Fear itself, but not being able to use four of his five senses had really done it. Lee knew that he was shaking, not because he felt the quivering in his limbs, but because his vision was rattling from side to side, up and down, making the pictures going to his brain fuzzy and scrambled. Lee saw rather than felt the strong jerk that made his whole body move. His head bobbed to the side and the left side of his face hit the dirt, though his nerves were numb to the impact. His eyes, wild and searching now, raced about himself to find anything or anyone that could help. Lee couldn't feel Kiba and Naruto's hands on his shoulder, nor could he hear Shikamaru telling him to hold on. His ears were deaf and his body dead.

Lee refused to think such a word. Dead? Lee? Pfft. That didn't make sense! Rock Lee had imagined himself in many situations in his later years, had planned many things that he would do. Dying at the age of twenty-nine wasn't one of them. His birthday was only in two months. He had to make it to thirty. He had to. But Lee knew that it would never be so. He would never get to go back home, either to Konoha or to Suna. He would never see Gaara again. No matter what the other male did to Lee, no matter how awful it had seemed when it was happening, it was nothinng compared to what Lee was experiencing now. This was it. His life was going to end right there somewhere outside the Village of Mist. Lee continued to search the ground, and occasionally the sky, for answers. Why? Why him? But there were no answers for Rock Lee. This situation was out of his hands. His life, whether he lived or died, was all up to a higher being who wouldn't give him any of the information he wanted. It was all up to that superior being. The God up in the Heaven's. Lee had no say in this matter if it was his time to die.

Lee wouldn't feel himself gasp even though his whole chest went up roughly. His eyes had landed on something far away from where he lay. Something was on the ground, sprawled and tangled in a mess of blood and spandex. Legs. Lee's legs. He could see the blue sandals, the orange leg warmers that he always wore and the torn and useless green cloth that had once fit all of his legs rather snugly. Lee knew that he was crying because the picture before him was going blurry and hazy in a way that he knew only tears could do. Lee didn't want to die. Lee was scared of dying. There had never been a moment where he had actually considered what it would be like to travel the distance between the human world and the realm of the dead. To actually be facing death was a horrifying thing. And Lee knew, as he stared blankly at his destroyed and totally lifeless legs a few yards in front of himself, that he wasn't ready. He was not ready to give up living just yet.

Lee would feel no pain as he died. His sense of touch was gone and he wouldn't feel how his broken ribs crackled and protested against the last breath he took. Naruto would see, though. And so would Kiba and Shikamaru. Lee's usually lively black eyes suddenly fogged over, became a dull gray in color and appeared glassy as he looked away, towards his mangled legs, towards something unseen by the living. His breath left his lungs one last time in a heavy sigh, one long 'whoosh' from between his parted lips and then the convulsive shaking of his body (what remained of it) ceased. The taijutsu master's strong, nimble body stopped moving and just lay there, broken and demolished. The blood stopped gushing from his wounds, a sign that his heart was no longer thumping in his chest, and that was it.

Rock Lee was dead at the age of twenty-nine. And the only thing that made it worse was that the love of his life, the only person that Lee had ever truly devoted himself to, his one Special Someone, Gaara would never care. The Kazekage had told him so before, so it must be true. The redhead had never lied to Lee before, so why would this be any different? He would continue his life without Lee. Maybe he would find a woman to marry and start a family with. Maybe he would change. Hopefully, all the years that Lee had spent with Gaara had changed the Kazekage for the better. Yes. Gaara would live on without Lee. When the ebony haired man died, Gaara would live. And he would live and be happy. He wouldn't care about Rock Lee, how he had died or why. He would have his own life to live and soon, any and all memories of Lee would be erased from his mind. The man known as Rock Lee would cease to exist in the redhead's mind.

He would simply fade away into the atmosphere and die a second death . . .